I recently listened to a podcast where Seth Godin encouraged me to “pick myself”. This notion blew my mind. It turned everything I knew and understood about the world on its head. The idea that I don’t have to wait to be chosen, interviewed, selected, short-listed. That if I’ve got something to say, something I believe to be worthwhile, worthy of conversation, worthy of connecting with others about, then dammit I should go right on ahead and say it!
And here’s the other thing that blew my mind for a second time. That its not going to be for everyone. Not everyone is going to want to hear what I have to say. And get this – that’s just fine! It’s fine if what I’ve got to say isn’t for you, or you, or a whole heap of yous! For me, a people pleaser, who likes to be liked, who has used this skill to great effect over the years, the ideas of shrugging at those who walk away, or don’t acknowledge me, saying “it’s not for you” and being ok with that, being given permission (by the great Seth) to be just fine with that is beyond liberating, beyond exciting. And its making me take steps I would never have taken before, because I would have been held back by the fear of rejection, the strong desire to people please. I am writing. I am pressing publish. I am engaging in conversations, having opinions, putting myself out there, even though I get that I’m not for everyone…..because I’ve been given permission to shrug if you choose to walk away.
When I heard Seth telling me to “pick myself” something about the message felt familiar, something rang a bell for me. And I realised that I already knew someone who was living it, who had “picked herself” in the most impressive of ways time and time again. My dear friend of many years Elle Harrison who chose something different from the corporate world she landed in as a new graduate, who founded her own company, published a book, carved out a working life that is truly free range, all because she dared to pick herself.
So I’m giving it a go. I’m treading my own path, I’m shrugging. And it feels pretty amazing. I don’t have to wait to be picked. Its already been done. BY ME! Now I just have to see where I’m headed.